Developing Your Jiu Jitsu Confidence through Humility
Most people start training jiu-jitsu to learn self-defense. As they progress through the program and become more comfortable on the mat, they come to recognize some of the additional benefits beyond just learning moves that can help keep you safe. They may lose a few pounds, feel stronger, sleep better, and become more confident.
What Makes a Person Confident?
What might sound strange is that this confidence does not come solely from a position of strength. True, by learning jiu-jitsu you’re developing techniques to protect yourself and becoming a more capable fighter, but you’re also spending your first few weeks getting your butt kicked by people who are more skilled than you. However, losing makes you less afraid of failure. It means you will take more risks as you figure out what works and what doesn’t work, learning to trust your abilities, and maturing into the role of a fighter. That trust in your abilities is what leads to growth, as well as confidence.
Humility and Jiu-Jitsu
There’s something very personal about losing in a one-on-one fight, even if it happens while you’re beginning your training. Those who have never gone through the experience will find it difficult when it first happens to them. It is a major blow to the ego. What’s important to keep in mind is that it’s inevitable that someone will put you in a submission hold that you won’t be able to get out of. You will tap out. It happens to literally everyone.
Losing is always a humbling experience. It doesn’t matter if it’s a game of chess or a fight. Accepting that someone bested you is difficult because you have to recognize that you are not perfect, and that you maybe don’t know as much as you think you do. According to Jocko Willink in the below video, “The more you realize that you don’t know everything, the more it humbles you.”
Humility and Confidence
The more you accept the fact that you don’t know everything, the less you’ll be ashamed of ignorance. What’s shameful is assuming you already know everything or ignoring the opportunity to learn and grow. Some of the greatest fighters in the world will recognize that they can learn tips from masters and from white belts. Humility allows them to always be on the lookout for ways to improve themselves.
Meanwhile, recognizing your ability to grow makes you more confident. In other words, you gain confidence from taking risks and you gain humility from failure. As Jocko says, “If you want to gain confidence and gain humility, get out there on the mat.”
Seen from this perspective, humility and confidence are not on opposite sides of the spectrum. Staying humble means understanding your limitations. Having confidence means you can comfortably recognize your strengths.
Can You Be Too Confident?
Especially within the world of martial arts, there are people who can appear to be too confident. Some may call them arrogant, cocky, or full of hubris. Meanwhile, fighters who have more humility tend to be quieter and let their actions on the mat speak for them.
However, being cocky doesn’t necessarily mean a surplus of confidence so much as it means a lack of respect. It’s a lack of respect for decorum and a lack of respect for their opponent. Very often it’s an intimidation tactic. In the case of someone like Connor McGregor or Muhammad Ali, it’s an effective tool before a fight. For someone who isn’t a trained fighter, this kind of bluster is their tool of choice because their actions on the mat can’t speak for them.
Respect Is a Bridge
Can you be too confident as a fighter? Of course. However, being too confident while being respectful means taking unnecessary risks, which can lead to unexpected victories or unforced errors. Meanwhile, being too confident, lacking humility, and being disrespectful means you fail to acknowledge that you can learn from others. Not only do you believe yourself to be the best, but you don’t think anyone can teach you anything new. This is not a path for growth.
For those who are beginning their jiu-jitsu journey and want to become better and more skillful fighters, it’s important not only to stay humble, but to practice respect. Respecting others and remaining humble allows you to build confidence that is based on skill and technique rather than hubris.